Tears in the Boardroom: Redefining Leadership Through Emotional Authenticity

I recently had a coaching session with a CEO (male) and a member of their Senior Leadership Team (female). During our conversation, they shared that they had cried in front of each other at work. While it wasn't something either did regularly, they acknowledged that being able to be vulnerable in that way with each other led to greater trust and collaboration in their leadership partnership, ultimately resulting in better work outcomes. This beautiful revelation made me curious about current attitudes toward crying at work, particularly among senior leaders. So, I did some sleuthing...

Crying at work isn't new, but it's long been stereotypically perceived as a sign of weakness. Consequently, most people try to avoid or hide their tears at all costs. However, studies indicate that such attitudes may be changing: just over a quarter of people (26%) think it’s a bad thing to cry in public, and only one in ten admit to actively judging others when they're crying.

But is that enough?

As my clients demonstrate, high-performing men and women do cry in the office. In fact, more than a third of Britons have cried at work in the last year. Yet, data confirms that women leaders continue to be judged more harshly than men for showing their emotions at work.

Psychology Professor Thomas Sy at the University of California Riverside and Management Professor Daan van Knippenberg at Drexel University conducted research exploring how the emotions a leader displays affect perceptions of their effectiveness. They found that, while men have more leeway to express negative emotions, women who don't express negative emotions are seen as more effective leaders than men. This may help explain the significant differences in the types of leadership positions and remuneration offered to men as opposed to women.

People cry at work for many reasons—loss, grief, or, most often, stress (55% of the time). Research has shown that crying can be a powerful stress reliever and self-soother. Emotional tears release oxytocin and endorphins, hormones that help reduce pain and restore calm.

As someone who has supported numerous leaders in their professional journeys, I believe it's time to embrace emotional authenticity in the workplace. Crying is not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of humanity. I say, let’s evolve and redefine leadership by embracing empathy, emotional intelligence, and the courage to be real.